so long for now, kim lab

But I'll be back! You keep rockin' out in the meantime =)

twenty-five thousand, two hundred minutes

dave has left the building

I had my "exit interview" yesterday, at which I needed to turn in my hospital ID and show my adviser where everything (notebooks, data, frozen samples, etc.) was kept.

It was all very strange. I didn't find myself experiencing any nostalgia - not because I wouldn't miss it (though, truth be told, there are some parts that I just won't), but because I know I'm coming back.


Still, it's weird to look at my empty desk. How will I have changed by the time I sit there again?


(I found this image to be hilariously appropriate.)

i get a little help

Thinking back on the process that led me to the decision to leave my program for a year, there are few things that would have served as real deal-breakers along the way. Disapproval from friends, family, other faculty - it would have been hard to take, but ultimately I think I would have realized that this was the right choice for me, even without their backing. However, one person whose support I desperately needed was my adviser's. This whole ordeal (which is really only just beginning) could have gone in an entirely different direction if not for this incredibly understanding and supportive woman. Among other anecdotes, this most recent one takes the cake.

Two days ago, I got an e-mail from the organization from whom I had gotten a grant this past summer, and who (was) funding me for the next two years. When I received the grant, my advisor had given me the go-ahead to order a brand new MacBook Pro - which I did, and which I currently love. The e-mail that I got two days ago informed me that, since the grant funds had paid for the computer, and since I hadn't finished out my term on the grant, I would have to surrender the computer to them. Fuck me sideways, right?

While it would have been entirely legitimate for my computer to be taken away, a lucky turn of events and an amazingly generous call on my advisor's part made my otherwise-depressing day an uplifting one. As it happened, the check from my granting organization had not yet gone through, so the computer was technically paid for out of my adviser's (grant) pocket. So she told them to simply cancel the check. The computer was on her, and she wanted me to have it.

(Did I mention she's also taking me and the rest of the lab out for dinner and drinks on Tuesday, as a send-off for me? It's almost too good to be true.)

Thank you, CK, for everything. I truly cannot wait to come back and continue working with you.

can you really afford to be forgettable?

"Well, you go and live. Do something great, because you're going to get old, and can you really afford to be forgettable?"

- a friend

not gonna do it

Wouldn't be prudent.

if you say so, fortune cookie

I will even forgive your inappropriate capitalization.

holy $#!T

I'm moving to San Francisco.

piece by piece

Though a lot of things remain to be figured out, quite a lot is falling into place. I've got my plane ticket booked, my official leave form has been submitted with all of the appropriate signatures, I've got my to-do-before-you-leave list from my advisor, and we should have a subletter for my apartment by the weekend. I've got a couch to sleep on when I get there (for at least a couple of weeks), and a couple of leads on sublets in San Fran. I'm optimistic!

Now I just need a job. Details...

booked

i will miss this when i'm gone

My favorite view of Boston, with (one of) my favorite person(s).


One of my favorite activities with out-of-towners...the view of the city from the Top of the Hub. If you've never done it, go on a weekend around 2:30 PM. It's after lunch, but before dinner, so they let you just sit at the bar. Pay $12 for an amazing cocktail with an amazing view, instead of paying $15 to just get the latter at the SkyWalk on the floor below.

my life on the c-list

I skipped out of lab today to spend a good 6 hours on Craigslist, my new least favorite pastime. Between posting ads for my own room sublets, responding to those ad responses, scheduling potential subletter visits with my roommates, looking up sublets in SF, responding to sublet ads in SF, looking up job listings in SF, responding to job postings on SF...I'm just about all set with Sr. Craig and his godforsaken lists.

It seems like subletting my rooms here is going to be the easiest of the three main tasks: 1) sublet my rooms in Boston, 2) find a sublet in SF, 3) find a job in SF. We've gotten a lot of responses to the ad I posted, so Austin and Becca will have their pick of roommates it seems. It's exceedingly important to me that whoever moves in here is someone with whom my current roommates are comfortable, so it's good that there will be options.

I don't take for granted for a second what we have here at the Cogs, and I will miss my roommates dearly.

I also know that it will be easier for me to find a job and sublet once I'm actually in the bay area to meet potential employers and roommates - but that somehow is a very small comfort at the time being. I'm wondering if it's even worth these day-long efforts to secure a job and living situation before I get there, if the likelihood of success is so seemingly low.

But, I press on. More ads to search through as I type...

sign on the dotted line

"One year in the context of a whole life or career - it just doesn't matter. No one will think less of you or devalue your Harvard Ph.D. because you took some time to find yourself."

"All this stuff about 'oh, you've got to do it this way,' or 'this is the path you have to follow'...it's all crap. All of it. There's no right way. You've just got to follow your heart. Things just tend not to work out when you don't."

"Shoot me an e-mail when you get there and sort out what you're doing. It'll be fun to keep up with your life as you figure it all out. You're young - I have to live vicariously through you. Us old guys, we don't have time to have fun anymore..."


I'd say that my meeting with the admin folks in the Division of Medical Sciences went pretty well.


Almost official!

xkcd may be my true inspiration

www.xkcd.com/308/

carpe diem

I turned 26 today. It was a chilly, snow-covered Boston that I woke up to this morning - to be expected at the beginning of the calendar year. I took the T (a longer commute than the bus) all the way into lab today, just so I could catch a look at my favorite view of the city. The skyline from the Longfellow bridge is always beautiful, regardless of the weather. It's one of the things about this city I'll look forward to seeing when I return.

In less than a month, the landscape to which I will wake up will be quite different. After months of debating, questioning, reflecting, introspecting, discussing, waffling, pondering, and a whole host of other action verbs, I've decided to leave my Harvard Ph.D. program for one year to move to the west coast - San Francisco, in particular. The move is temporary, but it's something that a lot of soul-searching has convinced me that I need to do. And I need to do it now.

This blog will serve not only as a way for those interested parties to keep track of the who/what/when/where/why/how in my life, but also to keep me constantly reminded of what this year is to be for me - an adventure. For better, for worse, for richer, or for (almost certainly) poorer, this is my perhaps overly-romanticized opportunity to figure out what it is I'm looking for. And to laugh, cry, love, learn, kick ass and take names while I'm doing it - and remember that I am always making up the future as I go.

I turned 26 today. Here's to my 27th adventure!